Thoughts, Feelings, and What-have-yous

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We lost our camera battery.  I can’t recall when we last used it, but I do know its not very timely especially with the USS Kittyhawk in town.  I’m sure the battery will turn up anytime soon - you know, the time when you don’t have any urgent use for it.  But not to dampen our (at least Alf and mine’s) excitement, we packed the troops and headed on to the city. Despite the ridiculous winter weather, we managed to get a glimpse of the historical ship via the Domain (Mrs Macquarie’s Chair Point).  The crowds were coming and going, despite the wet surrounds and the fact that only a glimpse can be made - entry and tour wasn’t allowed for security reasons.  We parked the car and braved the rain and walked the rest of the 45min to join the crowds.  The kids weren’t as keen as Alf and me were, but I’m pretty sure when they’re older, they will realize how exciting and awesome it is to witness the last of the Kitty.  We did manage to get some shots - with the good old camera phone.  (oh where, oh where is that lithium battery gone?!)

I recall being 8 or 9yo when I witnessed both the Kitty and the USS Enterprise while docked at the Subic Bay port.  That was a time when we still had our old furniture store in Olongapo and the parents managed to get acquainted with a client who was an Admiral at the Navy and willingly toured us inside and out both ships.  Of course, I have a very vague recollection of this otherwise momentous event, but I do know we have a photo of it somewhere.  I was back then, at an age when all that mattered was play, play and play.  I still do vividly recall the Admiral’s dog name was Jester.  I hope even with the rain and the almost wet shots of the Kitty, the girls would remember this day when they’re older.  They didn’t seem to mind the rain and the walk, but as always, they hailed and chanted as we glided under the bridge on our way home, "Harbour Bridge, Harbour Bridge, Harbour Bridge…".  Don’t we just love this city?!

After two days of staying up late (first was last Saturday, when we watched Bianca’s concert with the Australian Girls Choir at The Hills Centre in Castle Hill. Alf, Amiel and me stayed until 2am talking and drinking. And then Sunday night, chatting online with the Manlulos), I felt I needed a well deserved extra time in bed.  (Besides the fact that is was a very wet 12 degrees winter day). But it was Alfie’s first day at his new job and Bianca has school. So early to rise, dragging feet and hands with drooped shoulders ala Frankenstein, breakfast was prepared. Alfie had to opt for a ham sandwich takeaway as he didn’t want to miss his bus - on his first day at work.  We (the girls and me) took Bianca to school, came back to finish off whatever was left of breakfast and then a light bulb struck me!  Ting!  A much needed lie in and a good book - two good enough reasons to invent a game of turtles!

And so I became a turtle on my tummy, and resting my eyes.  The girls decided they were whatever animal or thing they wanted - Julia said she’d be an elephant and was lying down beside me, pretending to splash in the water. Sofia was a hippo, playing games with the elephant.  Alex standing along side the bed said she’ll be horse, but later on decided to be a strawberry. (ridiculous choice, but kids are kids and we don’t want to argue with them, especially when I’m trying to rest my eyes and being the slowest turtle in the planet!).  The girls continued on with their charade while the slow turtle continued to hide her head in her shell, resting her eyes and listening to the sounds of the waves splashing onto the shore. Of course, I didn’t fall asleep. After a few minutes, we decided to do "four in the bed, and the little one said, roll over…. you all know how it goes…. about 12 times.  No grumbling here. I was enjoying my extra time in bed, and I’m guessing the girls did as well.  After an hour and a half, it was time for morning tea for the girls, and for me to take on the day - make up beds, clean up the breakfast table, dry the laundry clothes, etc. It was a great help and a big energizer!  I asked the girls if we can play turtles again tomorrow, and they all cheered "Hooray!!" Lucky me.

The web it seems, is now flooded with a host of sites connecting people from all over the world. In the techno biz world, it is coined "social networking".  I have never had so many invitations (not even to parties), in a span of just a year. Obviously, my social calendar isn’t that full, but that’s beside the point, really! Recently, I have been Tagged, Linked, Hi-5(ed), asked to see MySpace, invited to join Zeboshop. I’ve read about Facebook, Google’s ORKUT and a host of others ranging from specific interests, from writing to shopping. And that is only in addition to the existing Friendster, Multiply, Snapfish, Yahoo 360.   Its amazing how we can all be interconnected in the net - from long lost childhood playmates to long lost forgotten friends, even ex’s. I’d like to believe some spats must have been patched up through the net, but that is only a guess.  Why not? Its not impossible, is it?! This social web linking has led me to think back on what has been lost and forgotten.  I’ve read about it a long, long time ago - the paradox of our age.  In these times of high-tech-quick-fixes-broad-band-connections, a lot of us, or maybe a portion of the population fail in the area of genuine warm human connection. In this aspect I talk about the forgotten art of writing letters (not typing and emailing) and using the old fashioned post ( I know that that not all postal services are efficient, but what the heck!).  How about calling family members or friends to greet them on special ocassions instead of sending an sms/email?  Online chat has become more and more of an option for most families separated by continents because there is the technology of the webcam.  E-cards has been sent more and more each day, contributing to the lost market of Hallmark and old-fashioned cards. (Unbelievably though, Australia has maintained greeting card sales from previous years!)

I used to be able to write long letters, but lately, I stare at my grocery list and wonder what ever happened to my handwriting!  Either I’m on the verge of acquiring athritis (at a very young age), or I have lost the touch.  Despite the dynamics of the wide world of the web (yep, that isn’t an error - simply wanted to make a point how huge it is), I totally appreciate all of its advancements and features that makes life and communication easier these days.  I am guilty of all those acts - chat/email/e-card!!  Honestly, I’d doubt my sanity if it were not for the internet connection in my fingertips, for the past two years.  These days, you don’t just use the internet to do email anymore - practically anything can be done online.  So technology has actually made our lives greater.  But as is in all things, balance is of the essence.  Sure!  I’d love to be tagged, linked, multiply(ed), hi-5(ed) or whatever else is available now these days. But wouldn’t it also be great if we can all really communicate and not just be connected?  Now that is a thought to think about.

Its Mother’s Day today, and for the first time in years, I really feel deserving of all the exaggerated publicity and commercialization that has been put into celebrating this occasion.  And why is this so? 

I look behind me from the computer, and see the clothes drying in the sun, fresh out of the washing machine, neatly hung like my KRA depended on it (coming from being a fulltime working parent, to fulltime motherhood, I’m guessing has its effects).  The sun is gorgeously up today, so take advantage of the heat in autumn.  Alfie always tells me there is some freaky passion in the way I do the laundry.  Clothes hung in matching pegs, pants hung upside down because the waistline always bears most of the water from soaking, and undies and socks as neat as a pin.  I don’t know, but I feel it looks better when the clothes are neatly hung up in an almost perfect unison. I look at my clothes line with pride. Hmmp. Crazy. Now let’s not talk about the folding and ironing, because that’s an entirely different story. 

I watch Sofia in the playroom, do her drawings with the same intent and passion a master sculpture would do his own Michaelangelo.  I laugh at the comical quirks my girls blurt out in the most unusual times. I cry at frustration for the difficulty of getting them to finish off their dinner/lunch, or saying goodbye at preschool which takes almost ages, or of explaining about why we need to be quick when we’re running late for school. I shake my head in tiring frustration over mess made over and over again, a few minutes after you’ve cleaned up, or the number of beds that has to be made up in the morning.  Aarrggghhh!  But as they say, you can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance (Franklin P. Jones - taken from Love in a Lunchbox).  But it isn’t all groans and grunts.  I was touched by Bianca’s week-long preparation for this Sunday, including a planned breakfast in bed, gifts and a powerpoint presentation. Having a 9yo daughter has a wonderful conspiring result when it comes to almost-secretly setting up something like a surprise. (I say ALMOST because kids her age almost always can never contain their excitement when they have a secret). Despite my sometimes mood outbursts, the simple spur of the moment - I love you mummy, hugs and kisses, brings out the softest of spots inside all of us.  And mother’s day seems the day and time when it is manifested the most. The girls made heart-shaped shortbread cookies from the preschool, and the teacher said I’m be lucky to get 6pcs! (as the kids get 2 each!). Aaww! They bring home all their drawings, painting, and creative knick knacks they made in school, or I hear that Bianca’s got a high score in a maths quiz, and so I smile in triumph.  So its not just the laundry, you see?  The little human milestones count as well.  Actually, the most!

Sometimes, I still do wonder whether I’m doing this job right. But reading Susannah Mac’s Love in a Lunchbox somehow eased some of my worries - because I know, all mothers out there get that BMS (Bad Mother Syndrome) and worry about the little nitty gritty details of our kids’ lives, whether you’re at home or at work.  So to all the mother’s out there, Happy Mother’s Day!!  I hope you did get that facial, spa massage, manicure-pedicure, or day off you’ve been thinking of doing - you deserve it!

Elia Parsons, one of the authors of "The Mother’s Almanac" said a very precise and interesting definition of this task - "Nothing else will ever make you as happy or as sad, as proud or as tired, as motherhood." Enough said.

Once again, its the time of year to make (or break) resolutions. As I did last year, I shared a similar item from the Guidelines ministry, and so here is another set of guides worth reading and remembering.

Guidelines For Starting
The New Year Right

With Harold Sala

Frustration will always be part of life, yet there are some things you can do to fight back! Don’t spend your time and energies in 2007 on non-essentials. The following can help you be more productive, happier, and fulfilled. Print out the following and consult it frequently:

GUIDELINE 1: Consult with God before you make plans. It is here we often fail. Ignoring Him we formulate our plan, then ask Him to bless it, or call on Him to bail us out when we are in trouble-instead of saying, "Lord, what do you want? Is what I have in mind in sync with your will and purpose for my life?" If it is, then go for it!

GUIDELINE 2: Realize Murphy’s Law is as exacting as the laws of thermodynamics. If something can go wrong, it will, so learn to plan ahead. If Plan A doesn’t work, have a Plan B, which will get you where you want to go a different way.

GUIDELINE 3: Be realistic. Some of our frustrations are the result of attempting the impossible. It is far better to have goals you can achieve than have them so unrealistic that you are always frustrated.

GUIDELINE 4: To avoid frustration, act without reacting. If you can’t climb the mountain, then tunnel through or go around. But don’t quit. Don’t get angry and hold your tongue.

GUIDELINE 5: Fix it, or forget it. If you car is a source of frustration, park it and walk, get a new one or buy a bicycle. But if you can’t fix it, ask God for the grace to love it.

GUIDELINE 6: Simplify, simplify, simplify. When I was struggling with a computer a few years ago, my dad-then in his 80’s-asked, "Wouldn’t it be better to just get a good electric typewriter?" He had a point. Simplifying life as much as you can eliminates a lot of frustration. Yet there is no going back.

GUIDELINE 7: Refuse to let it get to you. You put up a barrier that says, "This far and no further!" Vance Havner was right: Any bulldog can whip a skunk but sometimes it just ain’t worth it!" (Excerpted from my new devotional book Today Counts . To get your copy visit our online Guidelines bookstore.